Microsoft – A License to Steal

posted in: Microsoft | 0

Bill Gates The second richest man on the planet

First, there is something I want you to know.

Microsoft Corporation is the only company I know of that is allowed to knowingly sell you defective products, and are allowed to fix them at their leisure.

This man is Bill Gates, co-founder of Microsoft. The stock market currently values software giant Microsoft at roughly $370 billion.

And that’s not all folks. Mr. Gates personal net value is estimated to be just south of $90 BILLION DOLLARS. This places him as the second richest man on earth.

One of the Many Gates Homes
            One of the Many Gates Homes

Most reads on Bill Gates depict him as an American business magnate, entrepreneur, and philanthropist.

I believe that’s true, but is there nothing about the guy that’s suspect? Nope, everybody loves him apparently. 

Without doubt he’s not only brilliant and successful, but also one of the most generous men on the planet.                                                          

And, from the looks of his many abodes, he lives well too. I don’t begrudge Bill his success. I imagine he worked very hard and very smart for his fortune. I say good on him.

My problem with Microsoft, and by proxy, Bill Gates, actually began some years ago. With their handling of SERVICE PACK updates.

Microsoft-programming more than just your computer
  Microsoft-programming more than                        your computer

That’s when I began my career as an abused Microsoft Customer.

A Job by the way, that I still enjoy as we speak. 

Though I’m anything but tech-savvy, I have purchased at least 10 computers, and one thing is a constant, any Microsoft update can stick you where it hurts.

This has been true throughout the years, and is still true today. I KNOW, I HAVE THE STICK MARKS to prove it. In fact, if you deal with them often enough, you’ll more resemble a porcupine than a valued customer.

I have spent more hours on the phone with Microsoft, than I can even think about without a blood pressure spike, and one thing is certain, THEY COULD CARE LESS.

MICROSOFT IS THE MOST FRUSTRATING COMPANY IN THE WORLD TO DEAL WITH. 

Why you ask?

  1.  A customer communication network that is TOTALLY WORTHLESS and designed without A COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT for a VERY GOOD REASON, COMPLAINTS!
  2. A support staff that, unless you’re fluent in broken gibberish, you will be unable to communicate with on any constructive level.
  3. Microsoft seems to believe that any frustration we endure from these people is simply our cost for the privilege of doing business with Microsoft.
  4. A support staff that prefers the sound of their own gibberish, to any information and/or opinions you may be able to supply them.
  5. A support staff that DOES NOT allow any contact with UPPER MANAGEMENT.
  6. There is no complaint department, and no contact with the legal department. In fact there is no readily available phone contact with anyone other than customer support, and tech support. Yes, the same people you want to COMPLAIN ABOUT.
  7. A support staff that is either totally incompetent, or lazy, and in many cases I suspect, BOTH.

Let me walk you through a couple of my endearing encounters with Microsoft. This may sound familiar to you guys, if so, ENJOY. 

especial_windows_10_button-664x374For the past few months I’ve been bombarded by Microsoft with Windows 10 ads. Over and over I rejected it in favor of windows 7, which I’d run for several years. It worked, at least most of the time.

But, they just couldn’t take no for an answer and devised a plan by which they left customers wishes out of the equation. You know, wishes of people like you and I.

Yes, like our Federal Government, MICROSOFT has adopted a policy of, SCREW YOU, you get what we give you, and you’ll like it. In this case however, they were wrong. I DIDN’T LIKE IT!

So they decided to upgrade my system for me, under the cover of darkness. Though I’d repeatedly refused Microsoft’s insistence that I change my operating system from windows 7, (that worked) to windows 10, THAT DOESN’T, my wishes were, IGNORED!

How do they do that you ask? UPDATES! 

What is Windows Update? Put simply, it’s one of two things. It’s either changes that must be made for your system to continue operating, or unneeded changes that they want you to have, with something like FUTURE SALES, (MONEY) as the motive. Something LIKE WINDOWS 10 for instance. 

Microsoft says it’s an easy, free, way to help keep your PC safer and running smoothly. It’s called Windows Update. All you have to do is turn it on, and you’ll get the latest security and other important updates from Microsoft automatically. OH GOODIE!

UPDATES, in the form of Service Packs, are provided free of charge, and can include security and performance improvements and support for new types of hardware. You will notice that no mention is made of COMPLETELY REPLACING YOUR OPERATING SYSTEM.

images (17)We are told by Microsoft that we can stop automatic updating, but that NOT ALLOWING UPDATES is HARMFUL TO YOUR COMPUTER. And since we TRUST THEM, we, out of fear, do allow updates.

At that point, be advised that only GOD, or MICROSOFT CAN HELP YOU, and MICROSOFT ISN’T INTERESTED! 

If you have issues with the FREE, MIDNIGHT WINDOWS 10 INSTALL THAT MICROSOFT DECIDED TO GRACE YOU WITH, maybe you should go to the New York Times website, and take a look at “WINDOWS 10” articles. 

THIS IS MY STORY!!!!!!!!

As I do every morning I poured coffee and visited my computer. This particular morning however, my computer was shut down, but NOT BY MY HAND! 

download (2)My initial suspicion was that we’d experience a power outage, but I saw no evidence to support my theory. 

The mystery was solved however, when I powered it up.

Without my consent, in fact, in direct conflict with my will, I WAS THE PROUD OWNER OF MICROSOFT’S NEWEST FIASCO, WINDOWS 10.

My phone call to a Microsoft tech revealed that I had only two options. Try to use it, or wait hours for MICROSOFT to RE-INSTALL MY WINDOWS 7 THAT THEY (Microsoft”), REMOVED.

The tech guy assured me that Windows 10 would work just fine and asked that I try it before uninstalling. So, I did. But to do so, I had to agree to the terms of use for the product. So, Microsoft had, for all intent and purpose, removed my options.

The first thing I happened to notice was the distinct lack of DATA & PICTURES. Yes, thousands of pictures and documents, had disappeared. I was frantic.

No problem, after all, how important is the manuscript of a book a lifetime in the writing? How important is the 10,000+ photos of families past and present? What about the 90+ posts on my blog? Just how important are these things anyway?

Evidently, not important enough for MICROSOFT to consider cause and effect before scaring the hell out it’s treasured customers..

Thankfully, I did not lose these things, they were, for lack of a better word, HIDDEN from me. It may be the ONLY tech support call that has ever been truly successful for me.

download (1)That was a month ago.

Though I tried to use Windows 10, I was constantly bombarded with glitches throughout my system. I ran scans, I ran disc health products, I constantly ran disk cleaners, and, as a point of fact, IT MADE NO DIFFERENCE WHAT-SO-EVER.

I had performed all these functions multiple times for one and only one reason. I did not want to descend into the hell that I knew MICROSOFT SUPPORT, to be.

Then, once again, fate decided that my interaction with MICROSOFT SUPPORT, was not to be avoided.

I have very little experience with the viruses that we hear so much about. I do know, however, that it’s the first excuse Microsoft gives for your computer problems. It’s also a sure way into your wallet. This time, I believed them, so I paid.

It seemed suspicious however that I, AT MICROSOFT’S SUGGESTION, had recently began using their product,WINDOWS DEFENDER, as my virus and malware protection, and now, I had a virus. 

You can imagine my surprise when, IT DIDN’T WORK!

I was sick to my stomach when I realized that, THERE WAS NO OTHER WAY.

And so it began with this message:

BSOD : DllRegisterServer failed with the error code 0x80040201
Windows Defender Error Code: 0x80073afc
0x000000CE

DRIVER_UNLOADED_WITHOUT_CANCELLING_PENDING_OPERATION

More good news
                       More good news

Error Code 0x800705b4 when Starting Windows Defender
Window’s Defender Time Out Error code 0x800705b4.
Error code 0x800705b4 when trying to open windows defender

WINDOWS HEALTH IS CRITICAL – Contact the Microsoft Help Desk Urgently 1-855-270-5359

So, with great reluctance I made the call to the bowls of Hades, MICROSOFT TECH SUPPORT!

Gosh, makes me feel all warm inside
       Gosh, makes me feel all warm inside

For those of you fortunate enough to have never stepped into Microsoft’s own little portal of hell, what I’m about to tell you may seem, embellished to prove a point.

If so, you would be wrong, very, very wrong. 

The proof of these types of interactions is right at your fingertips. Simply look at the complaints and comments about Microsoft.

Microsoft has a strict policy of progression. Your first call, you will be on hold for as long as they wish or until someone accidentally answers the phone.

Then you will talk to a customer service representative. This person will ask you the very same questions you answered for the automated answering system. Who you are, what you want, and who you want to talk to.

You’ve now asked and answered, the very same questions, twice. No matter, at least that gives you something to think about while, yes, once again, you’re placed ON HOLD for an indeterminate period of time!

Oh yes, I’d be remiss if I failed to mention the mood altering music that consumes you as you enjoy your PRIVATE TIME. I believe it’s Microsoft’s attempt at soothing the growing beast they’re creating. DIDN’T WORK! For customers with heart trouble, BRING NITRO!!!

I was finally graced with the voice of a TECH-One person. And guess what, this little bundle of knowledge asked me some questions. In fact, the same questions I’d already answered, TWICE!

A prerequisite for Microsoft employement
     And that’s exactly what he did

But, as Microsoft knows, their devoted customers will do anything short of murder to get the hell off that phone.

There are several things about TECH-One guys that concerns me. It seems however, the more experience I’ve had with them, the more I think they may be prerequisites for the job.

  1.  If you don’t already speak completely indecipherable and BROKEN ENGLISH, LEARN TO! It is most essential that customers are conditioned to never understand what you’re saying. If they don’t understand, eventually, they will accept the slop bucket of crap they are feeding you.
  2. You can have only a passing knowledge about computers, but must sound like a Tech Guru. After all, Microsoft doesn’t want to fix our problems, they just want to sound good while they don’t.
  3. You must have absolutely no scruples about asking people to pay you, to fix something that MICROSOFT CAUSED in the first place.
  4. You must never send customers to a Tech 2 until they have threatened your life, and then, only if you are certain THAT THEY MEAN IT!
  5. If a customer asks for documentation supporting services performed, always agree to email it. BUT, DON’T SEND IT! One thing is absolute.While being incompetent is permissible, providing documentation to prove it, IS NOT!

Here is a play-by-play reckoning of MY LATEST MICROSOFT EXPERIENCE!!

5/15/2016

I called Microsoft hoping to find the remedy for my virus woes. Microsoft’s first action was, of course, their automated phone response which seemed very interested in this information:

  1. Name
  2. Phone number
  3. The product in question (Windows 10)
  4. What department I needed to talk with (Tech Support)
They look, almost harmless
       They look, almost harmless, 

I was then put on hold to await a response from the support center. Somewhere between 15 and 30 minutes later I did get one. They asked:

  1. Name
  2. Phone number
  3. The product in question (Windows 10)
  4. What department I needed to talk with (Tech Support)

After explaining the nature of my problem I was put on hold!!!! Why? To await a TECH 1 guy. Unfortunately he must’ve been really busy.

It took a while.

Fluent English is not a requiremen
 Fluent English is not a requirement

As it turns out it made no difference anyway. Between the accent and the mumbling pronunciations of unrecognizable words, I couldn’t understand a word from this guy. Except for one thing that is, a CASE TRACKING NUMBER. 1339592546.

I know this number to be correct because he had to repeat it FOUR TIMES. Though just a number to us, it represents the sum total of our worth to them.

This number, I believe, is supposed to be used to note, and identify, each and every action taken by Microsoft, to solve the issue.

Believe me, when you are asked to write down your CASE NUMBER, save some effort, and some paper, just don’t. It is an absolute certainty that no matter how many times you call, and no matter how many TECH GURU’S you are referred to, not a single solitary one of them will EVER, have any idea what the hell you’re talking about.

At any rate, he fixed NOTHING.

So, at my very strong insistence, he connected me with a REAL tech person. She was great. Mainly because I could UNDERSTAND HER!!!!

She immediately pronounce my computer an electronic virus nest. Fixing it however, would not be a free service. Since it WASN’T related to the WINDOWS 10 DOWNLOAD, it would cost me $149.00.

She was however, thorough, I guess. She ran scan, after scan, after scan. In fact if memory serves, she ran scans for 7+ hours. I sincerely believe she tried to help, but clearly the only thing she’d managed to remove, was $149.00 from my bank account.

The very next morning the very same virus came to visit.

download (5)So, I made the call again. MICROSOFT TECH SUPPORT!!!!! 

Maybe you remember the aforementioned 20 questions game from earlier in this post.

If not, be assured that I, once again, and for the 5th time in 24 hours, was asked the very same questions, even though providing my CASE NUMBER and my email, both of which, I’d been assured would identify me, and my problem.

But NOPE!

Once again I was introduced to the world of the damned. Microsoft had put me ON HOLD!

I, was unhappy! At times like these, I feel SHARING is the best policy. So after my bout with the automated hold demon, I discussed, with a REAL PERSON, my displeasure, and asked for a TECH 2 guy.

Home town of tech support guy
   Tech guy home

She, in keeping with the incompetence already shared by Microsoft, transferred me to a TECH 1 guy, who was evidently, not privy to my either CASE NUMBER or EMAIL.

WE TALKED!!

Once again, I was totally unable to understand this person. I asked on him four separate occasions to transfer me to someone I could understand. He finally agreed, I think so anyway.

I could be wrong, but as he put me on LONG-TERM HOLD, I had doubts. The fact that this HOLD had morphed into a DIAL TONE did little to inspire my confidence.

At least I understood it.

Now, it’s personal. Now, the questions didn’t matter, nor did the automated perimeter. Now, I wanted to tell my whole and complete experience to the first sign of humanity I encountered. And I did.

I found an antidote for Microsoft’s strict policy of progression. It was simple. I found that no matter how much gibberish they throw at you or how incompetent they are, if you chew on that ear enough, they are more than happy to either send you to SOMEONE ELSE, or disconnect you with extreme prejudice!

Keep in mind that you ALWAYS need to get their name. I found this to be the only cure for their propensity to HANG UP ON YOU!

At any rate, I survived two attempts at phone-tag, each with the appropriate TIME TO HOLD.

TECH 2 ???
         TECH 2 ???

Finally, a TECH 2, Microsoft’s answer to DARK MATTER.

By now I’d done research on Windows 10, (I utilized the time spent holding productively).

I believed it incumbent on me to share this information. There were no shortage of horror stories on the internet I assured him, and sharing a few of my favorites seemed, prudent at the moment.

One of the stories caused a prolonged silence. In fact I thought he too had hung up on me. Finally, he asked if I could hold on.

I assured him that I was all giddy at the very thought.

He, like several previous tech’s entered my computer with full confidence. He, too, ran scan after scan. As we talked he said, “I want to check something else if you don’t mind?”

With full confidence he proceeded to Dell Computers’ website and asked me for my model number which he entered. Dell Computer said my computer was not tested or approved for Windows 10. I SAW IT.

Gosh, that can’t be right? Can it?

Whatever the guy did at this point, did seem to help though, so I pronounced it “GOOD NUFF” and cut him loose. They always want you to say loudly, and clearly, that you computer is working just fine now.

Why, you ask? Remember that whole Case Number thing? THEY WANT TO CLOSE IT. They want to accomplish three things by doing so.

  1. Show their superiors that they actually did something.
  2. Remove any platform by which you can complain.
  3. Move you ever closer to the $149.00 a paid support contract will cost you.

Don’t do it. Ask them their name, make it plain that you do not WANT this number closed until you’ve thoroughly checked it out, and read back the case number to him. Trust me he/she, won’t like it. They are likely recording the call anyway, use it for evidence.

More Good News
              More Good News

The morning brought a fresh new batch of computer puke for my enjoyment.

For some reason I felt compelled to share it with my new-found Microsoft friends. Besides, I was confident that they liked me, and, they were only a PHONE CALL AWAY!.

As it turned out they weren’t quite as excited to hear from me as I’d thought. No matter, we were on a first name basis, or would have been had they pronounced their names in some form of the English language. 

My next call to support, after some serious discussion was terminated as I was on hold. Probably an accident, don’t you think?

The next call supposedly went to TECH 2 guys. Not sure of that however, the CALL WAS LOST before they answered. Gosh, what a coincidence.

The next call was successful. But only after my INSISTENCE that I be forwarded to one the MAGICAL TECH 2 guys, and a rather lengthy stay in TIMEOUT.

Success???? No, Same person advised me that NO TECH GUYS WERE AVAILABLE. Really?

After making customer service aware of my DETERMINATION to talk with a SUPERVISOR, she finally relented. I have to say that it was so refreshing to talk with someone, anyone, that I could understand. It turns out this guy was actually concerned and promised a call from TECH 2 would be forthcoming.

Nope, didn’t happen.

Memory Loss? That can't be good
           That can’t be good

Even more pleasing was the fact that my computer was completely locked up, and shut down. It seems that windows, once again, had issued a LOW MEMORY warning.

And, the aforementioned virus notification was once again staring at me like some evil screen saver.

Guess what I did? Yep, I called WINDOWS SUPPORT again.

Once again they attempted to put me through the OBSTACLE COURSE they call, CUSTOMER SUPPORT.

They didn’t succeed however. I actually got a TECH 2 guy. I guess. While he did get the SCREEN SAVER off, the last person to mention the low memory problem, was me.

Actually I felt pretty good that something on my behalf had been accomplished however. Besides, this guy even loaded something called CCLEANER for me and said to use it when I have this type of problem.

Then, bad luck struck one of the support people. While calling Microsoft’s valued customers, to ascertain satisfactory resolutions, she called me. Trust me, she won’t be calling back.

Needless to say, the following morning’s LOW MEMORY warning, and flickering display did little to enhance my early morning mood.download (4)

I called my Microsoft friends again. This time my stint in the purgatory that Microsoft calls, “HOLD”, seemed a little longer than usual.

Probably my imagination.

To the best of my knowledge the next person I talked to was a TECH 2 guy, and frankly he was already pissed. Not surprisingly, it improved very little when I told him that his Tech guy found that my computer, a Dell 2320 Inspiron, was not cleared to run windows 10.

His next words were “I’ll be the judge of that”. I informed him that, as true as that may be, he should probably make DELL aware of his decision. I’m uncertain whether or not he appreciated my suggestion.

My new buddy ran a few scans, looked at my programs, and seemed to get upset when he found my NEWLY INSTALLED CCLEANER. He asked me what it was, I think. Then in a somewhat accusatory tone told me, THIS IS THE PROBLEM! Where did you get this? I just had to. I indicated to my guy, that it very well may be a problem, especially considering that Microsoft’s previous tech guy had just loaded it.

He got angry and said he was gonna change me back to Windows 7. I said OK. Then he shared the down side, which frankly, he seemed to enjoy doing. It would take 5-7 hours to do so, and I had to call when the download finished for them to complete the process.

So, it took all night to redo what they screwed up in the first place. He gave me yet another Case number, and told me I wouldn’t have to wait in the hold monster, just give them the number.

downloadIt’s always been hard for me to deal with a liar.

The fact that they have no more pride than to lie to you, while knowing, that you know they’re lying to you, places them somewhere between the Bubonic Plague and the Ebola Virus on my wish list.

New Day, new call:

The following morning I called Microsoft, as requested, to complete my Windows 7 installation. I gave them the appropriate case number, as requested. But, as my call continued I realized that, They knew nothing.

Finally a nice guy got on the phone. I had to fill him in on what YESTERTECH had done and we discussed the Windows 7 reinstall that had run ALL NIGHT. After all due consideration my new guy said of the Windows 7 reinstall, “THAT WON’T BE NECESSARY”, and proceeded to convince me that he knew how to fix my windows 10 problems.

He ran a scan, got rid of my latest virus, and pronounced me good. Everything seemed to work!

Next day, low memory again. I called, then they called back, but when I was asked to be placed on HOLD, I just wasn’t interested.

I told them to call me back the following day. We agreed on 10:00 a.m. as an appointment time, and parted friends.

Guess what? They called me back!

Yes, in keeping with the high level of incompetence Microsoft had displayed over the previous few days, they were only 4 hours and 50 minutes, LATE!

Trust me folks, sometimes the old saying, “Better late than never,” is bullshit.

Of all the people I’ve talked to, support guys, tech guys, home office personnel, and some kind of mediation organization, (that doesn’t mediate), THIS GUY COULD SPEW OUT MORE UNINTELLIGIBLE GIBBERISH THAN A CHINESE DISC-JOCKEY.

Microsoft, there is a reason the Tower of Babel didn't work.
 Tower of Babel didn’t work then,              and it won’t work now.

Even more pleasing to me is that he quoted some Case Number that I’d never heard of, and wouldn’t listen to the one I had.

When I asked to speak to someone more fluent in the English language, he refused. I asked to speak to his supervisor, he refused. I asked again, he refused.

I asked for a call back appointment from another Tech guy. He refused. He said he would call me back tomorrow. I REFUSED! Then, we got into a TALK-OVER WAR. I won!

images (15)If Microsoft runs true to form, there will be a call tomorrow.

Sadly, I’m the one that will have to make it.

Hear is a list of the myriad of numbers these people have provided me with in the name of CUSTOMER SERVICE.

 

  1. 1339495609
  2. 1339592546
  3. 1339906533
  4. 88620765
  5. Microsoft Support Code: 59964307
  6. Microsoft Support Code: 88620765
  7. Microsoft Support Code: 47517496
  8. Service request number: 1339592546
  9. SRX1339476609ID – Answer Desk Team
  10. SRX1339475447ID – Microsoft Answer Desk
  11. SRX1340100166ID – Microsoft Answer Desk

The fact is, if you are smart enough to keep up with all the crap these numbers represent, YOU SIMPLY DO NOT NEED A COMPUTER!!!!!!

I’m closing this post with 10 things I believe about Microsoft. Trust me, there is much more to be said. In truth, I’m just tired of saying them.

This is what I believe about Microsoft. 

  1. I believe that Bill Gates is a very good man. I would hope, that if he knew how shoddily his tech support was operated, he’d make a few changes.
  2. I believe that any company, that benefits from viruses, malware, or any other such malicious act, is, by association, suspect.
  3. I believe that Microsoft, or anyone else who arbitrarily, and without consent of the user, makes unnecessary changes to your computer, have an ulterior motive. New product sales maybe?
  4. I believe that Microsoft has willfully devised a business model that includes masking any and all contact with anyone up the chain of command.
  5. I believe that Microsoft should have to pay the user for time spent repairing damage caused by any update, that is NOT REQUIRED.
  6. I believe that Microsoft located their SUPPORT elements in areas that would save them money. And, I’m sure it did. But what they really did, was sell customer service to a lowest bidder that has little regard for the ENGLISH LANGUAGE.
  7. I believe that if Microsoft records phone calls, they should be required to listen to them. They might learn something.
  8. I believe Microsoft has no budget for teaching their people the art of listening. Believe me, that is the only way they’re getting their money’s worth.
  9. I think that the fact that Microsoft has no complaint department is a testament to their incompetence. It seems to me that any company that refers its’ customers, to a totally alien entity in order to report complaints is a company that has too many complaints and too little concern for their customers.
  10. I believe there are millions of people who feel as I do. But what options? And why should we have to search for one? It’s simple MICROSOFT, JUST FIX STUFF RIGHT!

This post is almost four times as long as most. The reason is simple, and true. I, like WOODROW CALL, (of Lonesome Dove fame), simply will not put up with RUDE BEHAVIOR.

Nuff Said?
         Nuff Said?

I hope this gets to Mr. Gates. I hope even more, that he does something about it.

It just seems to me that if you’re smart enough to create anything even remotely on the magnitude of Microsoft, investing a little more effort into keeping it would be, PRUDENT! 

Guess I’ll find out after the next UPDATE!

P.S. Mr. Gates, if you have doubts about this post, you have people, CHECK IT!

For those of you that have had similar experiences with our Microsoft friends,,,, here’s even more for your enjoyment…  

https://www.politicstrickortreat.com/?p=4796